Almost a year gone by!

I can't believe the school year is almost done!  It flies by so fast. I remember at the beginning of the year, talking with various teachers telling me that I would make it.  There would be times when I didn't think I would, but I would make it.  And indeed, by God's grace and guidance, I have not only made it but it has been a successful year in many ways (mostly me learning).  

If you were to talk to me, I couldn't help but talk about my job.  I love the students, even though they can drive me crazy at times, and each day is different.  I love the sense of humor of my students.  "Ms. Cogan's a G!"-don't worry, that's a good thing, apparently.  "Ms. Cogan, you make a difference."  "Thanks Brian, you don't get extra credit, though."  I've also gotten a kick out of Day 16 (named after "Making the Band" band, Day 26), which consists of five of my boys that write songs and perform at the end of my class (great classroom management strategy...they can perform at the end of class if the whole class is "good").  The group is five sixteen year old boys with the following nationalities: Greek, Philipino, Dominican, Arminian, and Chinese...now that is New York City at its best.  Can't beat the diversity.

The constant challenge of teaching is learning how to let your personality shine through but practicing "tough love" at the same time.  I have kind of a sarcastic, joking personality that has a hard time yelling at people or even saying things in a stern way (unless you are my family, sorry :))  However, when it comes to teenagers, or any age for that matter, you need to let them know when they have crossed the line and help them see when they are in the wrong before they have crossed the line.  It can drive me crazy how many times I have to repeat myself or talk to the same student over and over about the same thing.  My students see my personality (I often see the looks they give each other saying, "Ms. Cogan is crazy!") which often means cheesy jokes and sassy glances and phrases.

With this, however, I'm learning that even though I want to respond to every one of their comments, I don't always have to have the last word.  There is great wisdom in ignoring...a trick my mom taught me at a young age.  And, I don't have to let them have the last word either..."Shaun, please move to the front of the room."..."But, Ms. Cog..." "Thank you, Shaun."  If I wait for him to TRY to convince me that he shouldn't move, I've wasted class time b/c he is not going to change my mind.  I just don't let them give their argument.  When I say thank you, I look away and immediately start teaching again.  This does not give them the opportunity to try and they know I mean business.

The greatest challenge of all?  A good one to continue to think, meditate, and pray on: How do I reflect Christ to my students, how do I love my students with Christ's love, with my own unique personality and gifts?  This is a great question no matter what profession or stage of life you are in.

The power of GRACE!

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a discipleship talk by Eric Ludy on my way to work in the morning via my ipod. This particular session was on grace. Some of his words particularly struck me. He talked about how in modern Christianity, we have often boiled down "grace" to mean that Jesus saved us from our sins. This is true...He did save us from our sins but grace is so much more than that. Ludy talks about how the Biblical references to grace deal with the power of God in our lives...the power to change and transform us. God is the God of the impossible doing mighty things in our lives! Modern Christianity often says, "Its ok, man, that you made a mistake. We all sin. We are human." Well, once again, this is true but this is almost a defeatist kind of thinking. God can and will transform us more and more as we reach eternity (sort of like limits in math...you get really close to the value but never quite reach it). This is us as we mature in Christ. We get (or should get) really close to being like Christ but will not quite reach it till heaven. The problem is many of us try to change ourselves and then continue to get frustrated when we don't see change. We must offer it up and daily say, "God, transform me. Do the impossible in me!" If I look back at my life over the last six months even, I can see that God is working and transforming me. I am not who I used to be. And I trust that another six months from now, I will say the same thing.

God's grace is not just Him saving us from our sins but it is also His transforming power in our lives to testify about Him in this broken and fallen world. May you know and experience the power of God in your life--His grace!

Roommates

You know, when you are living away from home, you need good roommates. People that you can depend on, laugh with, talk with, and just share life with. Stacey and Tracy are just that. They are pretty great. We are all different yet get along so well. All three of us are teachers so we have similar schedules, same days off, and lots and lots of stories! If you were to sit in our apartment on a given night, several things could happen (besides the shouts and smells of Fulton street). Stacey often comes home and has a story to tell about one of her sped kids. Tracy comes home with stories of how she has to "whip" her students into shape and show them who is in charge. My kids are older but nonetheless, are teenagers so everyday I am reminded of my highschool years and how in a few years time, things have changed for our youth (can we say, Pokemon?)

My favorite are the days when I come home and Stacey has picked up something sweet for a treat or Tracy decides she is in one of her baking moods. Be on the lookout for Tracy's Bakery coming in the near future. Then there is the countless episodes of "Lost" we have watched and analyzed and analyzed some more together. We've spent many hours working out together and being okay with the fact that we look ridiculous doing squats in our living room!

Being that we are women, we are constantly chatting. There is usually friendly teasing taking place and at times, serious discussions about our past and current issues of life. We listen, offer our bit of wisdom and move on to the next topic at hand.

Weekends we like to explore. We never will exhaust the restaurants to try and there is always a farmers or flea market to explore. We walk quite a bit in this city just exploring.

The list goes on and out of respect for my roommates, I won't reveal everything about them :) but if you are curious, come visit. Many have enjoyed our hospitality. I'm thankful this day (and everyday) for great roommates that I deeply enjoy spending time with and getting to know. A true blessing in a city where it is easy to get lost in the crowd.

Its Thursday!

Whew...I'm almost through. Its Thursday. My roommates and I love getting to this night. Our favorite shows are on and we mostly take the night off knowing that we just have one more day to get through. Stacey and I were just talking tonight how once we are at work, we actually don't mind being there. I love my students and co-workers and you just get into a groove. Its the waking up part thats the hardest part of the day. Thats why we need the weekend, to rest, even if you still have work that needs to get done...its rest from the regular routine.

So I teach a health elective to a section of 10th graders. Fortunately for me, I also teach them math. Its funny because on Mondays, we literally go from health to math the next period. They are a great group of kids. Its been so good for me to "teach" this class (since I'm the expert). its got me thinking quite a bit. Oh boy, Ruth, hear you go again, thinking. Well, this is important thinking. There are so many things I tell my students to do or suggest to them. I bring up the fact that I am older and have hind sight as a friend and also have learned from when I was there age. We discuss a lot of topics like drugs, alcohol, nutrition, dieting and sex--yes, I know, I'm supposed to be shedding my wisdom on sex. I straight up told them abstinence was the way to go but they are always allowed to disagree with me. Two major things have happened with me as I've taught these kids. One is the desire to protect and shield them. These kids, way more than I was and way more than most teens in the country, being that they are in NYC, have every kind of lie thrown at them everyday. Media is everywhere in the city. Condom and alcohol posters in the subway along with other provocative ads in their face. They know so much and yet so little. Its not hard to find drugs, alcohol, and sex in this "land of opportunity." Wealth and poverty intermingle as well as broken and disappointed homes. I don't care what the studies say: these kids don't need me to tell them more about their options, they need truth! And you know what, they are hungry for it! I'm not going to tell them they just need to practice safe sex...EVERYONE is telling them that. I'm going to tell them something different. These kids are hungry for something more and they get caught in the trap and lies of this world that tell them they need more clothes, a significant other, and to fit in. It breaks my heart to see so many people fall into these same traps. Why are we afraid to stand up for the truth?
This brings me to my second point: Will I be that example? it is so easy to say one thing and do another. I don't want to buy into the lies of this world. I want to be transformed. Guess what? That means our lives look different! Why should I try to hide myself in this world? I have the truth and have been set free...why don't I live that way? My kids don't need another "cool" teacher. I know on one hand, its not about what we do, but lets be real, people are watching us. I know my students are and they need a teacher who is loving, yet firm, steadfast, patient, confident, and practicing what she is preaching. They want to see someone with a moral backbone because deep down, they want that too. They need to be touched by Christ's love, not my "coolness." Are we willing to look different? Christ didn't say we would blend in but rather be a lamp on a hill.
May we be more of Christ for the hurting individuals He has put in our path!