Young, Restless, and Reformed

Today was such a nice day after work. Not that work was bad but you know what I mean. There was no afterschool meeting so I was able to leave work right away and got home a little after 4. I've been reading this book called, "Young, Restless, and Reformed" by Collin Hansen. I got a chance to hear him at a conference last weekend celebrating the 500th birthday of John Calvin. His book is so good and looks at the rise of Calvinistic theology in America, which has caused a stirring among these people for a hunger and thirst for God and His Word. It has filled many young people in particular with a passion for God's glory and have their theology determine how they live their lives. I'm one of those young people Hansen talks about. His book filled me with an even greater desire to get to know God more and bring Him glory, for that is what my life is about. That is my sole purpose. I tell you what, it has freed me up to be less fearful about my future because I'm placing my life in a Sovereign, good God. It has excited me for ministry and service. No one's life, including my own, is meant to be spent sitting in front of the TV all day (not saying no TV but you get my point). We weren't created to waste our life.

May you rejoice together with me in serving a gracious good God who called us out of darkness into His wonderful light!

My life and my times are in your hands

So I'm pretty bad at blogs seeing as I haven't written anything in over three months! I've decided to write about my daily life, which will of course include some deeper reflections but not always. Hopefully you'll get the chance to see more of what life is like in the Big Apple.

One of the verses I quote to myself almost every morning is "My life and my times are in your hands." Usually this verse comes to mind as I wait for the subway to pick me up in the morning on my way to work. Its normally on time and very predictable but nonetheless, sometimes you wait a little longer than you'd like. Life is full of situations testing your patience and living in NYC presents many of these challenges. This verse encourages me because I know my life is in the hands of an Almighty, Sovereign God. This calms me because it reminds me that all details of my life, including the timing of the subway, is out of my control. But these details aren't just left up to fate or chance; they are left to a good, gracious and wise God who knows what is best and sees it all.

In a stressful, busy city that can easily swallow you up, Jesus is my calm and stress reliever BECAUSE He is truth, wisdom, and life.

the Magic word

I find I'm always looking for that magical word from God: "Ruth, do this." "Ruth, do that" "Ruth, marry this person" "Ruth, move there." I've come to realize not only am I not good at trusting God, I don't want to trust Him. That involves often a lengthy process with pain and setbacks along the way. See, if God just gave me the magical words, I wouldn't have to go through all of that. I would just know. But that is often not how God works. In fact, when He does give those magical words, it oftens comes when we aren't seeking after it or it comes through a process of seeking. God wants to know, "Do you trust me? Do you believe in a great God?" Its as scripture says, "We walk by faith not by sight." Am I okay with that? I'm often fighting with God about that..."Just tell me already!" but God says, "Wait and see. Keep walking with me and I will guide you." My pastor has said many times, "Its not about great faith but faith in a great God!" If I truly believe that I serve a great God, then what am I worrying about? Oh Lord, transform my heart and mind to behold the TRUE God, a GREAT God!

Wisdom

The last couple of months, I have been specifically praying for wisdom as well as reading through the book of Proverbs, one for each day. When I started praying for wisdom, I didn't have a particular circumstance in mind, just wisdom in general. I have found something very interesting, which I shouldn't be surprised by, but I didn't see it coming. My heart for God and desire to know Him and follow His will, His desires for my life, have grown from just lip-service to the true desire of my heart. Proverbs says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I didn't realize that when I was praying for wisdom, I was praying to know God more intimately. I seemed to think that wisdom was just praying for special knowledge in a certain circumstance, but true wisdom is knowing God and His heart. As you know Him more, His will becomes more evident; His word becomes more alive.

May we grow in wisdom and knowledge of our Lord and Savior each day.

Be Still

You know how it is when it seems God really wants to get a message across to you? You keep hearing the same message in sermons/talks, songs you listen to, or just words playing in your head. The message for me as of late? "Be still and know that I am God." I'm learning to let go (and learning that I haven't really let go all these years in many ways) and entrust my life to Jesus. Its not fitting Him into my life its molding my life to His. I want Him to live my life through me not the other way around. Remember how God gave Abraham the promise of a son at 75! It wasn't till 25 years later that he got his son....after he tried to help God carry out His promise. God doesn't need our help. I'm still trying to figure out, however, what "Be still" means because I don't think it means that we just sit around and do nothing...I think it has to do more with the state of your heart and mind more than anything else. Haven't got it all figured out but I'm learning the importance of letting go and trusting that right now is God's best for me.

sometimes

Sometimes you just have one of those days--call it lack of sleep, high humidity, stress, so on--where you don't feel inspired or hopeful. Everything seems wrong and yet nothing seems wrong either. These are days when you have to walk by faith not by emotion. I've been so blessed being here that often times when I say "I love living here. I'm enjoying being single" I really mean it. But then I have times when I don't exactly feel that way and must walk in faith knowing that I serve a faithful, loving, and powerful God.

This morning on my walk to work, I had to remind myself of that. I often am like the Israelites who would see God deliver them time and time again with His mighty hand and they would praise Him. But then when another challenge would come along, they would forget about this All-Mighty, All-Powerful, All-Loving God! So on my way to work I was trying to avoid this ever-so-common-scenario in my life and think on how God has delivered me in amazing ways. I certainly have plenty of stories, especially in the past two years since I have been living in NYC. The joy, the growth, the protection, the "coincidences", the opportunities, its marvelous. I feel God's pleasure on me...truly. So this is what I have to remind myself of when I have days like this.

One of the verses that I have been clinging to is that God's foolishness is wiser than man's wisdom. I love this because it reminds me how limited my vision and knowledge is and that God knows way more than I do what I truly want and truly need. Praise God that I don't have to carve out my own story.

It gets better

I was telling my dad today that each year in NYC just gets better. The Lord has truly blessed me here and I am so thankful. I just found out today that two good friends from church will be moving down the road from me, Stacey, and Tracy. A little neighborhood community is forming! You expect this sort of thing in college but in NYC as professionals? Not really. I thought back today about how lonely I was my first year in NYC. I didn't have very many friends and was often alone. My church was definitely my family and I felt well loved there but I didn't have many friends there my age who wanted to hang out outside of church, which I needed. I contemplated trying other churches and joining groups from other churches but I felt God saying, wait out, stay there and be faithful. In the last nine months, He has brought at least four individuals to NYC and to Graffiti who will be staying for awhile and are in my stage/age of life. God allows us to experience valleys in our life to teach, mold, and mature us and then brings us into a land of blessing. This season of my life I feel so blessed and thankful for all that the Lord is doing. He is growing a young adults ministry and personally filling my life with greater joy and meaning than I thought possible at times before. How great that God's vision and plans are FAR greater and better than our limited ones.