Ruthie's Post

2009-10-18T13:13:00.001-07:00

Qumran

2009-10-18T13:01:00.001-07:00

Israel, day 6

2009-10-08T19:18:00.000-07:00

I've been away from this for awhile. The past several weeks have been really crazy with starting back to work, moving, and a college retreat that I was in charge of food on! But I want to talk about my trip before I forget! On Day 6, we started off the day with a church service together by the Sea of Galilee. We sang a few songs and Pastor Mark preached. He talked about Jesus calming the storm on the sea, which after being on the water yesterday on the boat, it was something you could somewhat invision. After the talk, I really wanted to talk to Pastor Mark and just thank him for his faithful service to the Lord and just meet him. I didn't want to bother him as he just told us that he had a stress-induced ulcer. One of my friends encouraged me to talk to him or else I would regret it (and boy was she right!) Natalie, my friend, waited with me and when we finally got up there, she took our picture for us. He was so nice and encouraging. He didn't make me feel like a burden or anything like that. While waiting to speak to him, other members from my bus noticed where I was and joined me so we were able to take a group picture as well with Pastor Mark.

After the service, we went to Beit Shean, a very old city, with layer upon layer of ancient ruins. It was so hot! It was the closest I came on that trip to being physically affected by the heat...it just knocked you out! The ironic thing was in the distance of the ruins, you could see the golden arches of a McDonalds!

After Beit Shean, we headed towards Jerusalem. We drove through the desert and saw nomadic tribal campsites set up along the way. All of the images we saw brought scripture further to light as you thought about David in the Psalms crying out to God, "O God you are my God. My soul thirsts for you; my body longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water."

The scene upon reaching Jerusalem was almost breathtaking. Here we were, the "Holy" City. Where the temple stood. Where King David reigned. Where Jesus was crucified and rose again! So much happened here. Our bus stopped at the top of an outlook point of the city and our bus prayed for the city of Jerusalem and our time there. It was a wonderful moment to pray with my fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord.

After our prayer time, we went and got lunch. It was already 2 or 3:00 and we knew dinner wasn't that far behind so I ate fairly light. We made it to the hotel finally--so beautiful! We unloaded our stuff and went to the pool. We needed to cool off from the heat of Beit Shean (by the way, Jerusalem was much cooler, thankfully) and just relax. We had dinner that night in the hotel.

When dinner was over, several people from my bus got together to share about our lives, what's on our hearts, and pray together. I ended up staying up very late that night talking with a few of the guys from the trip and my friend Stacey. We talked about relationships, of course. It was interesting, to say the least.

It was a full day but I relished in growing in relationships with people on my bus--people I keep in regular contact with today!

More to come...

Israel, Day 5

2009-09-16T18:36:00.000-07:00

On Day 5, we started our day on the Mount of Beatitudes for a sermon by Pastor Mark. He of course went through the Beatitudes and talked about how these are people that have their identity in Christ and not in this world. Our sinful selves are marked by idols. On our own, we can go from one idol to another. We conquer one idol only to gain another. For example, you can go from being an alcoholic to overeating (glutony) or smoking to arrogance in overcoming your battle with smoking. So, on our own or even taking advantage of the world's resources, we can conquer one area of idolatry only to cling to another. However, to go from idolaters to worshipers can only happen by Jesus. That was powerful to me. Jesus turns us into worshipers not idolaters; loving Jesus and not ourselves! Awesome! How I need Jesus!

After the service, we took a "cruise" on the Sea of Galilee. That was really fun. I had remarked to a few of my friends that I didn't see how it was possible that the Sea could have gotten so stormy in Jesus' day, when He calmed the waters. It just didn't seem that big. We aren't talking Lake Michigan, here :) Well, God has a way of showing you things. On our cruise, the water was very choppy and the air was very windy. We were blowing all around...nothing dangerous but just a reminder that if it had been storming, those would have been scary waters to be on! We had a blast on our cruise, singing and dancing to some Jewish songs.

Back on land, we had the opportunity to see a 2ooo year old fishing boat that was recently found in the last 20 years. It was really interesting to learn about. Afterwards, we had St. Peter's fish for lunch. It was my first experience having a whole fish on my plate, bones and all! It wasn't that tasty, unfortunately.

The last part of the day, we spent at the Jordan River baptismal site. I'm not going to lie...I was a bit turned off. We had a service here and Pastor Mark baptised quite a few people. That was all really good but the place itself was what I had a problem with. The tourism just got to me. You pay to use their restrooms. You pay to use their white baptismal robes. You are given a postcard when you come that says you have visited the Jordan river baptismal site. You can buy little tubes to be water in from the Jordan River as a souvenir. It just screamed of, "Lets see how much we can make off of Jesus being baptized here." It goes back to what Pastor Mark kept reiterating to us: Its not the place that is holy, its Jesus. It is He that we worship!

More to come...

More on Israel

2009-09-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

Our fourth day we went to Caesarea, where King Herod built one of his palaces. This was one of my favorite tour spots. There was an ampitheater, that is still used today, and vast ruins of this old port city. It was beautiful. From there we went to Mt. Carmel and saw where the Prophet Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal. The real God will burn up the wood even though it is soaked. Of course, the Lord God, the true and living God, showed His power and burned up the wood. The view on Mt. Carmel was amazing. You could see Nazareth in the distance, which is a very small village. I think I heard that in Jesus' day, Nazareth would have consisted of 10-15 families. It was also situated off of the main travel highway used in that day, so it was basically secluded from anything major. No wonder people asked, "Isn't Jesus just a carpenter from Nazareth? How could He be the Messiah?"

Afterwards, we wen to a village and had lunch-falafel, shwarma, salads, hummus, and baklava. All you could eat! It was excellent!! It was here at one of the shops that I saw a series of pictures of the NYC skyline from the Brooklyn Bridge! I had to take a picture of it...it was too funny.

That evening, we landed in Tiberias, where we stayed for a couple of nights. I loved Tiberias. Our hotel was right on the Sea of Galilee and it was gorgeous! While the Mediterranean was warm and salty, the Sea of Galilee was a little cooler, no salt, but rocky. I thoroughly enjoyed my swim in the Sea, surrounded by the Israeli mountains. It seemed smaller than I imagined but learned its about 12-14 miles long and I think 7 miles wide? You forget how far you can see when mountains are involved. My friends and I had to keep reminding ourselves that we were in Israel, on the Sea of Galilee! Jesus walked on water here. The disciples fished here. These thoughts were sometimes too much to comprehend. Pastor Mark reminded us constantly that there is nothing holy about these lands. We do not worship these lands, we worship Jesus. This was an important reminder. Being there doesn't make you closer to Jesus or more holy.

More to come...

Greece

2009-09-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

Here I am going to embark to show about my trip to Greece and Israel. It was an incredible trip! I met lots of wonderful people and scripture became more alive as I visually saw where these events took place. The trip started off in Greece. We were there less than 48 hours but it was still pretty cool. We flew into Athens early morning and our tour guides were waiting to meet us. We were split into 7 buses. I was on the Purple Bus (later known as the Purple Party Bus :)). We were given a driving tour of the outskirts of Athens, and then drove through Athens. We stopped at the old Olympic stadium and then headed to the Acropolis, which is where the Parthenon and Temple of Athena is. They are magnificent structures but were ultimately for idol worship. We could see Mars Hill in the distance. It was hot and we were tired (basically pulled an all-nighter in the plane) and hungry. We were taken to our hotels and several of us met for lunch. It was about 3 pm and we had breakfast around 6 am on the plane--nothing like croissants and cucumbers :) We found a cheap lunch spot for gyros. I had an incredible pork gyro. We walked around Athens, through the markets, etc. Dinner was in our hotel and then I went to bed by 8 pm. The next day, we got up and drove in our buses to Ancient Corinth. That was beautiful and fascinating. There is a mountain in the backdrop where they would flee to if enemies were coming. We saw where Paul was beaten for his faith. Later that day, Pastor Mark did a teaching on Mars Hill, with the Acropolis as the backdrop. It was amazing to sit where Paul stood before all the important philosopher and leaders of Athens and shared the gospel--its Jesus, not these idols that is alive and full of power. Give Him your life! Other than butt really hurting, as we were sitting on rock, it was a neat time.

That night, around 11 pm, several of us on the trip, left for the airport. We had a 2:00 flight to Tel Aviv, Israel, another all-nighter. Once into Tel Aviv, we went through passport check and made it onto the bus. Our tour guide, Yoni, took us to breakfast on an old farm "kabbutz", which is now a hotel. I wasn't that hungry as my body doesn't handle lack of sleep mixed with caffeine very well. However, it was a site to see tuna salad in the breakfast buffet! One of the things, as a side note, that was interesting about the food in Greece and Israel was the amount of vegetables and cheese at breakfast! I'm used to a lot of fruit so it was an adjustment to eat Greek salad for breakfast. The feta cheese was out of this world good. I've not had anything that good in the US. Back to the trip. After breakfast, we took a tour of Joffa, where Peter has the vision from God that nothing is unclean that God declares clean. This is also the port where Jonah left to escape going to Ninevah. It was a very cool town but once again, after pulling another all-nighter, we were exhausted. We got to go to our hotel early, check in, and eat lunch and swim in the Mediterranean! Our hotel was about a block from the beach. The water was so warm and amazing! It was very therapeutic to lay on the beach and swim in the Mediterranean. We had dinner that night at our hotel. I loved sitting with people and getting to know them. Meal times were some of my favorite times on the trip as we got to sit down and get to know each other. Most of the time, we sat with people on our bus at meals but occasionally, you sat with others from the trip and got to know them a bit. I didn't think I would enjoy being split into buses but it turned out to be one of the best things, especially as someone who didn't know anyone. You really got to know the people on your bus and leaned on them for support, encouragement, prayer, and laughs!! We had so much fun together and I felt so incredibly supported and loved there.

Tel Aviv, as a side note, was incredibly modern and "secular." You didn't necessarily feel like you were in the Middle East or the Holy Lands. At this point in the trip, I was feeling incredibly blessed and enjoying myself immensly but not quite spiritually refreshed. We were running a loaded schedule and going on little sleep. I wanted to maximize my time with people to get to know them and yet needed some time to myself, to pray and read scripture. That night, I went to bed earlier, spent some time journaling, praying, and reading scripture and sleep! Sometimes we can fill our lives with so much good stuff that we don't take the time to do the most important thing, spend time with Jesus. He is the one that truly refreshes, rejuvenates, and fills our lives with meaning and purpose.

More to come...

Not a Victim

2009-07-28T17:25:00.001-07:00

Its so easy to play the victim; the martyr. I heard a good sermon by Mark Driscoll a while back about how in our pain, in our hurts, and disappointments, turn to Jesus, not our problem. Its so easy in my pain to bring others down with me. Woe is me! How tragic! Its not that we can't or shouldn't acknowledge our pain, but don't give in to it! I've had a pretty great life. Nothing major that marks my life. So for me, its the little stuff. I've had a rough day at work, so I feel justified in complaining and griping all evening. Woe is me! I feel lonely so I feel justified in giving others the cold shoulder without any explanation as to why they are receiving this from me. Woe is me! I could go on but the point is that the Lord is refining me to turn to Him in my pain, loneliness, etc, rather than giving in to the problem. When we do this, He is glorified, which is the chief end of man.

Practically, how do you do this? Well, I'm no expert, but prayer definitely helps; singing songs of praise, reading scripture, or doing an act of service or kindness for someone else. Don't turn inward but turn to the loving arms of Jesus. He calls us Beloved. That is our mark, our worth. The Sovereign King of Kings and Lord of Lords loves us and that is enough.

Fun times...

2009-05-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a wonderful reminder of how great God is in calling me to live and work in NYC. My friend Laura came to visit for the weekend and I got to show her around the city. We rode the Staten Island Ferry, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, enjoyed the American Museum of Natural History, and strolled through Central Park. It was so beautiful! I know some may wonder, "How can you call NYC beautiful?" But indeed, I do! Not all parts do I consider beautiful but nothing beats the skyline of NYC or the trails of Central Park.

After these adventures, Laura and I went back to my apartment and I made dinner for her and a couple of friends, Chelsea and Nichole, who just live down the street. Its so great to live so close to friends and it is wonderful to be able to enjoy the hustle and bustle of Manhattan and then go home to Brooklyn and relax. You need it.

Today, I met up with Chelsea for the 3:30 church service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. Ravi Zacharias, a world-renowned Apologist, spoke about the problem of pleasure. It was so good. One thing that stood out that Zacharias said is that meaningless in life does not come from growing weary from pain but rather it comes from growing weary in pleasure. When you have experienced and exhausted all pleasure, when you live for yourself rather than for God, your life is meaningless. God created pleasure and joy, but they are only experienced truly and fully by living according to His word.

May we, who strive to follow God, allow Him to define and shape our lives, thoughts, words, hopes and dreams and bring Him honor and glory!

God's mercies each day

2009-04-07T16:05:00.001-07:00

Last night I stayed up really late watching a depressing bball game. I woke up really early, unable to turn my mind off. On Tuesdays, I usually have what I call the "Tuesday blues." Every week, I have to fight feeling tired, impatient, and grumpy on Tuesdays, particularly with my students. On Tuesdays, I pray extra hard for God's love, mercies, and joy in my heart. Despite my team losing horribly last night, little sleep, and a full day, I had joy in my heart, and energy in my step (though the last hour of work was a little tough). I was reminded of how blessed I am to work at BCCHS. My students knew about the game and that I was a Spartan. Some of them watched the game mostly for me and they were frustrated for me. It was really cute.

One more day to go until some much needed R & R. What are you thankful for today? Share it!

Reminiscing

2009-04-05T17:56:00.001-07:00

Today I took some time on my walk from church to reflect on how God has changed me over the last year, particularly the last nine months. I've been doing that a lot more lately and marveling at how much God has done in me. I'm humbled by His love in doing this for me. His hand in the minute details of my life is amazing.

School year is moving fast. I love my job and my kids. I struggle each day to represent Christ in all I do. I've had to say some hard things to my kids lately and I always wonder, "Am I saying these things in the best possible way? In a way that is honoring to Christ?" How I wish I had a pure, kind mouth but unfortunately, it is often filled with complaints, criticism, impatience, etc.

Random side note: I wish NYers appreciated March Madness more. I had to explain what it was to my advisory kids. It was funny to explain this tournament and why it was such a big deal to me to them. They could care less. NYers care about the Yankees and Mets not college sports. Lets be honest, what college team would they seriously rally around? Precisely, there is none. Therefore, true NYers don't give a rip. However, I have had a blast sporting my MSU gear around the last week. I am so proud to be a Spartan--always have, even when we don't play well. Go Green!

Young, Restless, and Reformed

2009-02-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

Today was such a nice day after work. Not that work was bad but you know what I mean. There was no afterschool meeting so I was able to leave work right away and got home a little after 4. I've been reading this book called, "Young, Restless, and Reformed" by Collin Hansen. I got a chance to hear him at a conference last weekend celebrating the 500th birthday of John Calvin. His book is so good and looks at the rise of Calvinistic theology in America, which has caused a stirring among these people for a hunger and thirst for God and His Word. It has filled many young people in particular with a passion for God's glory and have their theology determine how they live their lives. I'm one of those young people Hansen talks about. His book filled me with an even greater desire to get to know God more and bring Him glory, for that is what my life is about. That is my sole purpose. I tell you what, it has freed me up to be less fearful about my future because I'm placing my life in a Sovereign, good God. It has excited me for ministry and service. No one's life, including my own, is meant to be spent sitting in front of the TV all day (not saying no TV but you get my point). We weren't created to waste our life.

May you rejoice together with me in serving a gracious good God who called us out of darkness into His wonderful light!

My life and my times are in your hands

2009-02-22T17:39:00.000-08:00

So I'm pretty bad at blogs seeing as I haven't written anything in over three months! I've decided to write about my daily life, which will of course include some deeper reflections but not always. Hopefully you'll get the chance to see more of what life is like in the Big Apple.

One of the verses I quote to myself almost every morning is "My life and my times are in your hands." Usually this verse comes to mind as I wait for the subway to pick me up in the morning on my way to work. Its normally on time and very predictable but nonetheless, sometimes you wait a little longer than you'd like. Life is full of situations testing your patience and living in NYC presents many of these challenges. This verse encourages me because I know my life is in the hands of an Almighty, Sovereign God. This calms me because it reminds me that all details of my life, including the timing of the subway, is out of my control. But these details aren't just left up to fate or chance; they are left to a good, gracious and wise God who knows what is best and sees it all.

In a stressful, busy city that can easily swallow you up, Jesus is my calm and stress reliever BECAUSE He is truth, wisdom, and life.

the Magic word

2008-11-16T18:51:00.001-08:00

I find I'm always looking for that magical word from God: "Ruth, do this." "Ruth, do that" "Ruth, marry this person" "Ruth, move there." I've come to realize not only am I not good at trusting God, I don't want to trust Him. That involves often a lengthy process with pain and setbacks along the way. See, if God just gave me the magical words, I wouldn't have to go through all of that. I would just know. But that is often not how God works. In fact, when He does give those magical words, it oftens comes when we aren't seeking after it or it comes through a process of seeking. God wants to know, "Do you trust me? Do you believe in a great God?" Its as scripture says, "We walk by faith not by sight." Am I okay with that? I'm often fighting with God about that..."Just tell me already!" but God says, "Wait and see. Keep walking with me and I will guide you." My pastor has said many times, "Its not about great faith but faith in a great God!" If I truly believe that I serve a great God, then what am I worrying about? Oh Lord, transform my heart and mind to behold the TRUE God, a GREAT God!

Wisdom

2008-10-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

The last couple of months, I have been specifically praying for wisdom as well as reading through the book of Proverbs, one for each day. When I started praying for wisdom, I didn't have a particular circumstance in mind, just wisdom in general. I have found something very interesting, which I shouldn't be surprised by, but I didn't see it coming. My heart for God and desire to know Him and follow His will, His desires for my life, have grown from just lip-service to the true desire of my heart. Proverbs says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I didn't realize that when I was praying for wisdom, I was praying to know God more intimately. I seemed to think that wisdom was just praying for special knowledge in a certain circumstance, but true wisdom is knowing God and His heart. As you know Him more, His will becomes more evident; His word becomes more alive.

May we grow in wisdom and knowledge of our Lord and Savior each day.

Be Still

2008-09-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

You know how it is when it seems God really wants to get a message across to you? You keep hearing the same message in sermons/talks, songs you listen to, or just words playing in your head. The message for me as of late? "Be still and know that I am God." I'm learning to let go (and learning that I haven't really let go all these years in many ways) and entrust my life to Jesus. Its not fitting Him into my life its molding my life to His. I want Him to live my life through me not the other way around. Remember how God gave Abraham the promise of a son at 75! It wasn't till 25 years later that he got his son....after he tried to help God carry out His promise. God doesn't need our help. I'm still trying to figure out, however, what "Be still" means because I don't think it means that we just sit around and do nothing...I think it has to do more with the state of your heart and mind more than anything else. Haven't got it all figured out but I'm learning the importance of letting go and trusting that right now is God's best for me.

sometimes

2008-08-29T19:12:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have one of those days--call it lack of sleep, high humidity, stress, so on--where you don't feel inspired or hopeful. Everything seems wrong and yet nothing seems wrong either. These are days when you have to walk by faith not by emotion. I've been so blessed being here that often times when I say "I love living here. I'm enjoying being single" I really mean it. But then I have times when I don't exactly feel that way and must walk in faith knowing that I serve a faithful, loving, and powerful God.

This morning on my walk to work, I had to remind myself of that. I often am like the Israelites who would see God deliver them time and time again with His mighty hand and they would praise Him. But then when another challenge would come along, they would forget about this All-Mighty, All-Powerful, All-Loving God! So on my way to work I was trying to avoid this ever-so-common-scenario in my life and think on how God has delivered me in amazing ways. I certainly have plenty of stories, especially in the past two years since I have been living in NYC. The joy, the growth, the protection, the "coincidences", the opportunities, its marvelous. I feel God's pleasure on me...truly. So this is what I have to remind myself of when I have days like this.

One of the verses that I have been clinging to is that God's foolishness is wiser than man's wisdom. I love this because it reminds me how limited my vision and knowledge is and that God knows way more than I do what I truly want and truly need. Praise God that I don't have to carve out my own story.

It gets better

2008-07-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

I was telling my dad today that each year in NYC just gets better. The Lord has truly blessed me here and I am so thankful. I just found out today that two good friends from church will be moving down the road from me, Stacey, and Tracy. A little neighborhood community is forming! You expect this sort of thing in college but in NYC as professionals? Not really. I thought back today about how lonely I was my first year in NYC. I didn't have very many friends and was often alone. My church was definitely my family and I felt well loved there but I didn't have many friends there my age who wanted to hang out outside of church, which I needed. I contemplated trying other churches and joining groups from other churches but I felt God saying, wait out, stay there and be faithful. In the last nine months, He has brought at least four individuals to NYC and to Graffiti who will be staying for awhile and are in my stage/age of life. God allows us to experience valleys in our life to teach, mold, and mature us and then brings us into a land of blessing. This season of my life I feel so blessed and thankful for all that the Lord is doing. He is growing a young adults ministry and personally filling my life with greater joy and meaning than I thought possible at times before. How great that God's vision and plans are FAR greater and better than our limited ones.

hosting

2008-06-29T23:12:00.000-07:00

I've always known my parents have the gift of hospitality and how it blessed so many people. Since moving to NY I've seen to an even greater degree how valuable that gift is. I hope I can somewhat fulfill their shoes. Last night I was invited I was invited over for dinner from a group of girls from church. I couldn't go but their offer was greatly appreciated and meant a lot to me. Tonight a group of friends from church came over for dinner...last minute. It was a joy making them dinner and giving them a place to hang out for the evening. In NYC you don't get many home cooked meals and homes to relax in. Usually if I meet up with friends, we meet at a restaurant or a coffee shop. in other words, we are spending money. it is such a blessing to open your home and have people be able to relax at your place and eat home cooked food--a little taste of home that we all miss.

Almost a year gone by!

2008-05-31T05:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the school year is almost done! It flies by so fast. I remember at the beginning of the year, talking with various teachers telling me that I would make it. There would be times when I didn't think I would, but I would make it. And indeed, by God's grace and guidance, I have not only made it but it has been a successful year in many ways (mostly me learning).

If you were to talk to me, I couldn't help but talk about my job. I love the students, even though they can drive me crazy at times, and each day is different. I love the sense of humor of my students. "Ms. Cogan's a G!"-don't worry, that's a good thing, apparently. "Ms. Cogan, you make a difference." "Thanks Brian, you don't get extra credit, though." I've also gotten a kick out of Day 16 (named after "Making the Band" band, Day 26), which consists of five of my boys that write songs and perform at the end of my class (great classroom management strategy...they can perform at the end of class if the whole class is "good"). The group is five sixteen year old boys with the following nationalities: Greek, Philipino, Dominican, Arminian, and Chinese...now that is New York City at its best. Can't beat the diversity.

The constant challenge of teaching is learning how to let your personality shine through but practicing "tough love" at the same time. I have kind of a sarcastic, joking personality that has a hard time yelling at people or even saying things in a stern way (unless you are my family, sorry :)) However, when it comes to teenagers, or any age for that matter, you need to let them know when they have crossed the line and help them see when they are in the wrong before they have crossed the line. It can drive me crazy how many times I have to repeat myself or talk to the same student over and over about the same thing. My students see my personality (I often see the looks they give each other saying, "Ms. Cogan is crazy!") which often means cheesy jokes and sassy glances and phrases.

With this, however, I'm learning that even though I want to respond to every one of their comments, I don't always have to have the last word. There is great wisdom in ignoring...a trick my mom taught me at a young age. And, I don't have to let them have the last word either..."Shaun, please move to the front of the room."..."But, Ms. Cog..." "Thank you, Shaun." If I wait for him to TRY to convince me that he shouldn't move, I've wasted class time b/c he is not going to change my mind. I just don't let them give their argument. When I say thank you, I look away and immediately start teaching again. This does not give them the opportunity to try and they know I mean business.

The greatest challenge of all? A good one to continue to think, meditate, and pray on: How do I reflect Christ to my students, how do I love my students with Christ's love, with my own unique personality and gifts? This is a great question no matter what profession or stage of life you are in.

The power of GRACE!

2008-05-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a discipleship talk by Eric Ludy on my way to work in the morning via my ipod. This particular session was on grace. Some of his words particularly struck me. He talked about how in modern Christianity, we have often boiled down "grace" to mean that Jesus saved us from our sins. This is true...He did save us from our sins but grace is so much more than that. Ludy talks about how the Biblical references to grace deal with the power of God in our lives...the power to change and transform us. God is the God of the impossible doing mighty things in our lives! Modern Christianity often says, "Its ok, man, that you made a mistake. We all sin. We are human." Well, once again, this is true but this is almost a defeatist kind of thinking. God can and will transform us more and more as we reach eternity (sort of like limits in math...you get really close to the value but never quite reach it). This is us as we mature in Christ. We get (or should get) really close to being like Christ but will not quite reach it till heaven. The problem is many of us try to change ourselves and then continue to get frustrated when we don't see change. We must offer it up and daily say, "God, transform me. Do the impossible in me!" If I look back at my life over the last six months even, I can see that God is working and transforming me. I am not who I used to be. And I trust that another six months from now, I will say the same thing.

God's grace is not just Him saving us from our sins but it is also His transforming power in our lives to testify about Him in this broken and fallen world. May you know and experience the power of God in your life--His grace!

Roommates

2008-05-18T18:44:00.001-07:00

You know, when you are living away from home, you need good roommates. People that you can depend on, laugh with, talk with, and just share life with. Stacey and Tracy are just that. They are pretty great. We are all different yet get along so well. All three of us are teachers so we have similar schedules, same days off, and lots and lots of stories! If you were to sit in our apartment on a given night, several things could happen (besides the shouts and smells of Fulton street). Stacey often comes home and has a story to tell about one of her sped kids. Tracy comes home with stories of how she has to "whip" her students into shape and show them who is in charge. My kids are older but nonetheless, are teenagers so everyday I am reminded of my highschool years and how in a few years time, things have changed for our youth (can we say, Pokemon?)

My favorite are the days when I come home and Stacey has picked up something sweet for a treat or Tracy decides she is in one of her baking moods. Be on the lookout for Tracy's Bakery coming in the near future. Then there is the countless episodes of "Lost" we have watched and analyzed and analyzed some more together. We've spent many hours working out together and being okay with the fact that we look ridiculous doing squats in our living room!

Being that we are women, we are constantly chatting. There is usually friendly teasing taking place and at times, serious discussions about our past and current issues of life. We listen, offer our bit of wisdom and move on to the next topic at hand.

Weekends we like to explore. We never will exhaust the restaurants to try and there is always a farmers or flea market to explore. We walk quite a bit in this city just exploring.

The list goes on and out of respect for my roommates, I won't reveal everything about them :) but if you are curious, come visit. Many have enjoyed our hospitality. I'm thankful this day (and everyday) for great roommates that I deeply enjoy spending time with and getting to know. A true blessing in a city where it is easy to get lost in the crowd.

Its Thursday!

2008-05-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Whew...I'm almost through. Its Thursday. My roommates and I love getting to this night. Our favorite shows are on and we mostly take the night off knowing that we just have one more day to get through. Stacey and I were just talking tonight how once we are at work, we actually don't mind being there. I love my students and co-workers and you just get into a groove. Its the waking up part thats the hardest part of the day. Thats why we need the weekend, to rest, even if you still have work that needs to get done...its rest from the regular routine.

So I teach a health elective to a section of 10th graders. Fortunately for me, I also teach them math. Its funny because on Mondays, we literally go from health to math the next period. They are a great group of kids. Its been so good for me to "teach" this class (since I'm the expert). its got me thinking quite a bit. Oh boy, Ruth, hear you go again, thinking. Well, this is important thinking. There are so many things I tell my students to do or suggest to them. I bring up the fact that I am older and have hind sight as a friend and also have learned from when I was there age. We discuss a lot of topics like drugs, alcohol, nutrition, dieting and sex--yes, I know, I'm supposed to be shedding my wisdom on sex. I straight up told them abstinence was the way to go but they are always allowed to disagree with me. Two major things have happened with me as I've taught these kids. One is the desire to protect and shield them. These kids, way more than I was and way more than most teens in the country, being that they are in NYC, have every kind of lie thrown at them everyday. Media is everywhere in the city. Condom and alcohol posters in the subway along with other provocative ads in their face. They know so much and yet so little. Its not hard to find drugs, alcohol, and sex in this "land of opportunity." Wealth and poverty intermingle as well as broken and disappointed homes. I don't care what the studies say: these kids don't need me to tell them more about their options, they need truth! And you know what, they are hungry for it! I'm not going to tell them they just need to practice safe sex...EVERYONE is telling them that. I'm going to tell them something different. These kids are hungry for something more and they get caught in the trap and lies of this world that tell them they need more clothes, a significant other, and to fit in. It breaks my heart to see so many people fall into these same traps. Why are we afraid to stand up for the truth?
This brings me to my second point: Will I be that example? it is so easy to say one thing and do another. I don't want to buy into the lies of this world. I want to be transformed. Guess what? That means our lives look different! Why should I try to hide myself in this world? I have the truth and have been set free...why don't I live that way? My kids don't need another "cool" teacher. I know on one hand, its not about what we do, but lets be real, people are watching us. I know my students are and they need a teacher who is loving, yet firm, steadfast, patient, confident, and practicing what she is preaching. They want to see someone with a moral backbone because deep down, they want that too. They need to be touched by Christ's love, not my "coolness." Are we willing to look different? Christ didn't say we would blend in but rather be a lamp on a hill.
May we be more of Christ for the hurting individuals He has put in our path!

Disciplined freedom?

2008-04-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a sermon the other day by Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian in NYC. He was talking about how people do not like Christianity because it restricts their freedom. Jesus calls us to give up our lives to him and not live for ourselves. Lets be honest, on our own, we want to follow our desires and ideas of what is best. Keller brings in the verse where Jesus says, "The truth shall set you free!" Now Christians believe that that truth is Jesus-He is the way, the truth, and the life! So how does this truth, then, bring freedom? Doesn't Christianity call us to do certain things and not do others? Well yes on one hand. Keller makes the point on how truth with conditions brings a deeper and truer freedom than we would have known. For example, he mentions fish. A fish is restricted to the water. But thats not fair, a fish should have the freedom to go wherever it wants to. Well, a fish can go wherever it wants to but if it goes out of the water, it eventually dies. Hmm...I think the fish will stick to its restriction so that it can enjoy the full freedom of the waters.

I've thought about this principle specifically with discipline. Many of us cringe at the word discipline...it seems restrictive and spoils our fun, right? Well, thats what it feels like but I've found a truly disciplined life brings a deeper, truer freedom and joy than living otherwise. A couple of examples from my own life: I come home a couple of days ago from visiting family upstate. My roommates were still in MI since we are on Spring Break. One of my roommates had cleaned the kitchen before we left but the rest of the apartment was a dump....seriously. Immediately, I start to feel myself getting stressed out. "I can't relax in this mess!" So, the next day I spent several hours (literally) cleaning. Now, wouldn't it be nice to never have to clean and have the discipline of having a clean home? Um, I'm learning the answer to that is...not possible! You have to be disciplined to clean because guess what, I feel more relaxed when I do! I would rather be disciplined in cleaning (hopefully doing it more often so that I don't have to spend several hours on it) so that I can be relaxed and not stressed out.

How about being disciplined about eating healthy and exercising? Now, I'm a normal person, I enjoy food and sweets, hello! But do I need to eat junk and sit all day long? Please no. Sounds nice until I feel sick, gross, and depressed. No, I would rather exercise regularly and indulge in the occasional treat so that I feel energized, refreshed, and enjoying life!

These are simple exampes to say that living according to the conditions that Jesus gave us brings us a deeper, truer freedom and joy than we could have prescribed for ourselves.

Joy in the preparation

2008-04-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Your college years are the best years of your life." Yikes, everything is down hill from there? Thankfully, I can honestly say that right now I am experiencing the best years of my life. I pray that each phase of my life I can say that. I have found great joy in getting up each day and teaching hormonal, ungrateful teenagers. I write that with a smile on my face because it reminds me of my teenage years. Thank you teachers and family for putting up with me!

The last couple of weeks have been quite amazing for me. Oh sure, nothing extraordinary occurred in my life but inwardly, God is at work. I remember my college years and after graduation wondering why I was still single. What is wrong with me? Why is God punishing me? I am thankful to say that God has given me great joy in the preparation. Words cannot express it enough. I am not just accepting the fact that I am single, I am enjoying it! Praise God for His mercy on us! I feel God's pleasure and love on me at this time. He wants me to be a woman of excellence and guess what, my future husband is going to appreciate a woman of excellence MUCH more than a woman who has been sitting around impatiently waiting for him to finally show up. God is slowly tranforming me into a woman whose thoughts reflect God's. I do not need to dwell on my fears and critical thoughts of others. I do not need to complain about people or events that come my way. It is just not honoring to Him. I want to turn my song of bitterness into songs of joy and thanksgiving! Oh and the preparation gets pretty technical too. Why do I think when I get married I'll suddenly be good at cleaning my place on a regular basis and organizing my things? Why will I all of a sudden stop eating cereal for dinner? Why will I all of a sudden start keeping a budget? No, now is the time to a disciplined, responsible adult. Yes, there is great joy in the preparation. I'm excited about who God is making me into and the life He has given me. I'm not going to wallow in self-pity (call me out if I do) but rather rejoice in this time. God is doing a great thing. I can trust that if God is doing a work in me, He is doing a work in THAT man, whoever THAT man is!

May you enjoy whatever phase of life you are in now and allow God to continue to transform your lives, thoughts, and words! For all you single women out there, YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM! God is blessing you and shaping you. Let Him do it!